Over the past several years I’ve devoted quite a bit of thought to this subject.
What is a friend ? Or define what a friend means ?
If your like me you may look online to get a clearer definition such as
But some how the definition falls dramatically short…. Well at least for some of your friends.
Yes, I understand that too.
If your like me you may have a scale of friendship. This scale isn’t an intentional one and it certainly isn’t what I like to use. I would prefer not to rank my friends. If you are friends with me there are certain benefits/rights you are given, pretty much unconditionally. Or do you compartmentalize your friends. For example: These are my drinking friends, these are my exercise friends, etc. However you classify your friends, you let them into your life and you tell them things about you. The degree of which you do this is completely your choice. There is no manual or online guide for this. No right or wrong (question or statement?)
To what degree should you let your friends into your life ?
Are your friends the type that would judge your idiosyncracies ?
Does the level of their judgment adjust the scale of the value of your friendship ?
I get that we are all weird in some way shape or form, this is not for me to judge. I get that there are some things about you that you don’t share because you think that I’m going to judge you. Or that you don’t tell you friends because you fear that they will no longer be your friends. For me, I have a golden rule of friendship, do whatever you like as long as it doesn’t hurt others. It’s a simple rule but it’s one that has helped me clearly define the friends in my life from mere aquintances. Ok! So in the same paragraph I just contradicted myself, I said I wouldn’t judge, but there it is, my golden rule for friendship.
So I am likely just as guilty to limit what I tell my fiends. However, for me it’s not out of fear, it’s more out of what the friend is willing to accept of me. I can pretty much answer any question. What are you willing to hear ? I have a friend that is honest, in fact brutally honest, if you want her opinion, just ask. Her line is, if you want to know go ahead and ask, just remember you asked, and you need to be prepared for whatever answer you get. I am like this but I usually give a bit of warning first if this is a friend that I think may be a bit sensitive.
So how is it that we have some friends that we need to be with everyday and work at the friendship yet others just come so naturally and even if you don’t see them for years. Even after years of not seeing some of these friends, you are just able to pick up exactly where you left off the last time and it’s like there has been no time that has passed between the last visit.
So where am I going with this ? Maybe friendship is like a journey there is no clear direction. Looks like I’m violating the essay writing rules that where drilled into me thru my schooling years oh so long ago, having no intro, body, and conclusion. I’ve said in the past: “I may not have a clear direction on where I’m going, but I can tell you, along the way, I’ll have fun, I’ll laugh, and if you are with me, you’ll have a great time, and if everything works out, we’ll both learn a thing or two.”.