Sometimes I think that having an internal personal one of these would be a great idea. Seriously, how many times have you been going along and thought… Hey I should have been paying attention to something going on, and when I say going on… I mean going on with you and your life (ie: something mental, physical or relationship wise).
For me, there are a number of instances where I thought I should have taken a look and paid more attention to where I was at. I think I can look back on that now in retrospect, but at the time it would have been cool to have some sort of indicator to tell you… something to say “Hey, this is a problem and maybe you should be looking a little closer at this”. I’m sure like any warning or indicator, you can grow oblivious to the signs. Some of the signs can be right in your face and you still won’t pay attention to them. I get that, and in fact I do that as well.
Case and point. I had a very valuable lesson taught to me back in 2000 when on a project in San Francisco. It took me probably 5 years to realize the value of the lesson. Ok, I’m a slow learner. I admit that some things just take time to really sink in, or for me to grasp the relevance of what is being said. Then there are other lessons that I have picked up along the way, where I will immediately know and understand the relevance. Why is that ? Does it just take time to work through it and figure it out ? Or is it a case where you need to be ready to hear what is being said? Does this work the same way for you ?
I think for me, at least, it’s a case of being ready to hear the lesson. Don’t worry, as a friend, I hear all the things you tell me. But I’ll admit, if there is a lesson in there. It may take me a bit of time before I’m ready to accept that lesson. If you are feeling repudiated, don’t worry. I did this as child/adolescent to my parents as well, in the “formative years”. I guess this is something that I haven’t grown out of, or grown up over. If you do this too, don’t worry about it. I’m sure that I make the same mistakes as you, and likely I make more of them. One of my friends very eloquently put to me, “Hey, when you fuck up, you fuck up really bad” Gotta love the honesty there. For me in hearing or better yet, “listening” to these lessons, in some cases, it’s too late by the time I realize what is going on to do anything meaningful about what I had previously heard.
So what can I do differently…. now there’s the million dollar question. What do you do ? Do you make the same mistakes as me ? Have you figured out how to read your Check Engine light ?
Recently I had a friend talk to me about and show me the meaning of “living in the moment”. I think that this is one way of making sure that those life lessons don’t pass you by. Sort of like a stop and smell the roses concept, But I’m sure that there are other methods that can be employed that will help. I’m not saying you should only live minute to minute, although, I believe you should make your seconds count. I also think that you need to make sure that you plan for the experiences you think you’ll need in your life. I know, its a tough act, to balance what you think you should have done in the past, learning from it, and also looking towards the future and making sure that you continue to gain those experiences you think will be rewarding/fulfilling and will ultimately take you on the path where you can look back on your life, not with regret, but with the satisfaction that you have filled your life’s jar with the experiences you need and want. However you do this, or however you want to approach life, just make sure of one thing, be true to yourself. Understand yourself, and ultimately be happy with the person you are, and the person you will become.